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Grandparent's Day on 23 September 2006 is the perfect time to let grandmas and grandpas
know just how much they mean to you and their grandchildren.
Everyone's idea of what makes a "good" grandparent is slightly different, based on personal
goals and family traditions. A grandparent can be many things to their grandchildren - best
friend, role model, teacher or even family historian.
Children love to hear stories about their grandparent's childhood as well as the antics
their parents got up to when they were young. It helps provide continuity between the past,
present and future.
When grandparents share interests and activities with their grandchildren, it can make for
some really magical memories. Children will always remember baking cakes, going for walks,
playing games, reading together, or how wonderful it felt to be rocked and sung to. Kind words,
loving gestures and special times will be fond memories that last a lifetime.
Being a grandparent can be an incredibly gratifying experience. In most cases, grandparents do
not have the day-to-day responsibilities of a parent, instead they are free to simply
love and enjoy being with their grandchild. Being a good grandparent today requires a lot of
wisdom, understanding, patience and love.
In the last few decades the role of the grandparent has become more important than ever, with a
rise in single-parent households or those in which both parents are working. Most grandparents
would agree that it's incredibly important to find the right balance between being ideal
grandparents without becoming a taken-for-granted source of childcare. Often when it
comes to setting boundaries between parents and grandparents, a lot of tact is required all round,
but in most cases a happy agreement can be reached.
Recent research suggests that grandparents play a significant role in the lives of children and
they are an integral part of their grandchild's self-identity. The study, commissioned by Age
Concern, also suggests that children's emotional development is positively affected.
Each parent and grandparent has unique values to give a child. Learning from both generations is
what makes your grandchild special, these values should be respected by all family members.
Remember, your common bond is your love for the child. What grandparents have to offer is the
benefits of growing older - wisdom, experience and perspective.
Tips for grandparents:
- Remember that your grandchildren are being raised in a different world than the one
in which you raised your children. Be careful when giving advice to the new parents about
the way "you used to do it."
- Talk to the parents of your grandchild and lay down ground-rules for discipline, eating
sweets, smacking and treats.
- Keep up with today's attitudes to raising children by reading books or magazines for parents.
The Good Granny Guide by Jane Fearnley-Wittingstall is a great source of advice.
- Grandchildren often live far away. Use mail, phone or email on a regular basis to share
thoughts, feelings, experiences and to celebrate holidays or special occasions. Even with a large
geographical distance you can still build a close relationship.
- If you live close by, visit often, but be sure to call first. When you visit your
grandchildren make time to be alone with them. It's natural to want to spend time with your
children, but don't ignore your grandchildren.
- If at all possible, take each grandchild on a special outing - just the two of you. A
weekend trip or an overnight at your home is a wonderful holiday for your grandchild. Days out
are a great chance to get to know your grandchild better.
- Talk with your children about the role you'd like to have with your grandchildren. For
example, if you're not interested in babysitting, but would like to share specific activities
with each grandchild, let them know. Before giving expensive gifts, be sure you've discussed
it with the parents.
- There are many youngsters who have no grandparents in their lives, but grandparenting need not
be limited to family. All it takes is time, interest and concern to develop a loving relationship
between two generations.
- Last, but most important, enjoy the unconditional love you give your grandchildren. It will be
returned one-hundred percent.
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